


Trails of a Dark Lord

by TheColor9



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 20:37:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18612079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheColor9/pseuds/TheColor9
Summary: Just some things Voldemort might have dealt whiling leading a bunch of slightly off kilter group of magical nobility.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a fun little thing made for laughs. Please enjoy.^-^

Tom Marvolo Riddle was many things The Dark Lord (Yes, with capitals please and thank you.), Lord Voldemort (which was quite original if he did say so himself. Which he did.), a prodigy child that exceled in many subjects (most of which were being banned by the not quite as talented and bright Dumbledore), the head of the newest and latest activist group aiming to protect the culture and traditions of the wizarding world from Dumbledore’s systematic assimilation and progression toward muggleborn culture (which wasn’t really a thing since the muggle world was a conglomerate of all cultures, traditions, and religions with some still trying to best or destroy the others), he was a politician (grudgingly), a freedom fighter ( even had his own group called the Death Eaters. Hmmmmm….May want to change that name at some point to something less threatening), a friend (to very very few), an arch nemesis (Mostly to Dumbledore), and an over glorified baby sitter.  
“My Lord! They’re doing it again can’t you tell them to stop!?”  
“My Lord! Tell him stop being to be such a prude!”  
“What’s for dinner?”  
“Can we kill the filthy little beast today?”  
“I LOVE YOU, MY LORD! PLEASE LET ME CARRY YOUR BABIES!”  
“Excuse me darling, but you are a married woman and MY WIFE! If and I do mean if anyone is going to give you babies it’s me!”  
“You tell her Rod!”  
“YOU DON’T COMPARE TO THE POWER AND BEAUTY OF MY LORD!!!!”  
“My Lord, I am taking my wife home to remind her who she is married to. Will you please excuse us?”  
“GET HER DONE ROD!!!”  
The Great Voldemort sighed, “Yes you may leave Rodolphus and don’t forget to use the fertility potion Severus gave you yesterday. Parkinson they only display themselves like that to because you react to it, so simple don’t respond and they will get bored of messing with you. Narcissa would you please tell Lucius and Severus to take their foreplay to another room. I can’t deal with combating the light’s news bill and the fragile sensibilities of my underlings at the same time. No, Macnair. I still need him as a spy. You may kill the rat after he has served his purpose. Oh and Rabastan. SHUT UP!”  
“NO, MY LORD!!!!!”  
“Of course my Lord. I’ll also take her back to the bank because it looks like she has been dosed or bespelled again.”  
“I’ll try my lord, but they are just so…. Indecent.”  
“They’re doing what!? BOYS! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO WAIT FOR ME!!”  
“Sorry, darling but Severus had a very distressing day at work today. I thought I’d show him how much I appreciated him.”  
“Well then how about we take him to our room and show him precisely how much WE appreciate him.”  
“Nnnngahh!"  
“OH MY GOD!!! NOW ALL THREE OF THEM ARE DOING IT!!! GET A ROOM!! GET A ROOM!!!”   
“Damn… okay I’ll leave him be for now.”  
“My Lord? You never said what was for dinner.”  
Yes, he was definitely a babysitter.


	2. Chapter 2

“WHY?!!! ISN’t THERE ANYWHERE ELSE YOU CAN DO THAT?”  
“Well, it is MY house so I can do whatever I want whenever I want. So I will ravage my lover and wife wherever I please.”  
“Plus, the door was closed, and we even put a hat on the knob.”  
“Are you sure you just don’t go out of your way to find us, so you can sate your perverted mind you are the only one who constantly finds us after all.”  
“I-I-I…. My Lord is that true?!!”  
“I don’t know I have never asked, and I have only walked in on them twice. Once on accident which is why they must leave a hat on the knob of the room they’re in and once on purpose as I needed Severus to make me more headache and pepper up potion.” I answered. They really do get it on everywhere here maybe I should stop using their personal love nest as a base of operation, but the Slytherin Manor is still under reconstruction after a failed ritual and the only Gaunt residence left should be condemned after what remaining heirlooms are checked thoroughly for dark curses and moved into my vault. And well his other servants' homes were nowhere near as well kept or large as the Malfoy Manor. Especially after the war with Grindelwald many magical homes and lives were destroyed. Most were still recovering even now. Well, I guess there is nothing that can be done about it until then.


	3. Chapter 3

“Ouch! How dare you hit me do you know who I am?!”  
“You’re my damn cousin like just about everyone else in this room, so of course I know who you are! And I didn’t hit you I bumped into you. There is a difference.”  
“Well, I never-“  
“Think. Well that was a given.”  
“I am of the Noble Hou-“  
“Yes, yes. We know now shut up!”  
“Why is that half-blood still here? We should get rid of him. He is-“  
“HE is going to show you why you should keep your words and thoughts to yourself here in a moment.”  
“….”  
“That is what I thought.”  
“YOU SURE SHOWED HIM SEV!!!!!!”  
“…. I’ll be back.”  
“RUN! RAB!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!”  
“SHIT!! I DIDN’T MEAN IT SEVERUS!!! DON’T KILL ME!!!!”  
“QUIT RUNNING AND STAND STILL!!”  
“I’M SOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!”  
“He won’t really kill him right?”  
“Nah, just maim him to the point of unrecognition.”  
“SERIOUSLY?!!”  
“No.”  
“Oh, okay.”  
“He is a Potions Master. There will be no evidence left behind.”  
“?!”  
How was it that these people in this room were some of the most powerful and feared individuals in the British Magical world? Oh right because Dumbledore messed with everything. Quite literally too. If Bellatrix hadn’t caught on to the fact that something was wrong with Severus they probably wouldn’t have figured it out. The poor boy came it into a meeting one day and signed in with the wrong hand. (yes, I have a sign in sheet. I work with children after all) Bellatrix was all over the kid and we had to fight with both of them to get them calmed down enough to figure out what had happened. There was a large fight and it ended with us all going to Grinngotts and getting him tested which was a fight in and of itself which lead to more of us getting checked and tested. And low and behold all of us had some disturbing problems. Meaning we had well been potioned and bespelled and then some. It sucked and I sent out and order for everyone to get checked. I also had to pay a very large fine for damages to the bank. Now we all wear protective jewelry which is updated regularly and Severus gets a mandatory check up every month he seems to get tagged a lot the only one who gets tagged more is Bellatrix.  
I hate medical bills.  
But I have now invented several new powerful protective spells that I have Patented and worked out several deals for their use on many protective items.


End file.
